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Contemplating a change
Dec. 5th, 2012 10:11 amI seem to be all about change lately. Only most of the time, I'm contemplating adding things to my life, doing new stuff. Not dropping old ones.
But here's my contemplation: I'm thinking of dropping the book review blog.
This isn't a snap decision, and it's not something I haven't thought of before, either. But always the feeling passes, and this time, it isn't. It's been on my mind for a week and a bit now, and I wonder if maybe the time isn't right to let that project fall by the wayside.
The problem isn't that I'm burned out on reading. It's that I'm burned out on reviewing. I sill read as much as I ever did; more, even, than in years past, and it's thanks to starting that blog. I'm a more critical person now because of it, and my own skill with writing has improved thanks to exposure to more diverse writing styles and the experimentations of other authors. I actually have conversations on Facebook with some authors. I've discovered awesome novels that I might have passed over previously, because I got review copies and I felt obligated to at least try them.
So my desire to read hasn't dimmed. It's my desire to review. I finish a book now, and I don't think of writing up a review, even though I have opinions on it. I think of moving on to the next book. For a week and a half now I've had more than 2 books to write reviews for (now 3, and rapidly approaching a fourth), but I just can't be arsed to do it. I sit down at my computer, open Wordpress, and think, "Meh, there's plenty else that I'd rather be doing right now." And then I go do it.
At first I thought it was just because of NaNo, and that I should spend my writing time actually writing my NaNo project instead of book reviews. But it's been almost a week since NaNo ended, and I still don't feel any urge to review at all.
Not to mention, it's getting more than a little bit daunting, having so many books to review. Thanks to sites like NetGalley, I get books in advance of the release date, a very nice perk that allows reviewers to have a book read and a review ready for the release date so that the hype can peak at the right time. Lovely privilege, and I don't know where I'd be without it.
But right now I have over 250 unread review copies sitting on my Kindle, accumulated from nearly 3 years of reviewing. That's not including books I've bought and haven't even touched because review copies come first. At my current rate of reading, I've got another 3 years before I get through that backlog, and that's assuming I get nothing else new in the meantime. From any source.
I miss reading for fun. I miss just picking up a book and sitting down with it and reading it and enjoying it without paying so much attention to stylistic effect and word choice and tone and strength of character, and while I know I don't think I can get away from that now, I miss being able to just recognize those things and move on, not having to crystalize each thought into coherent sentences to be written online so that maybe 10 other people can read them.
My blog's been going for almost 3 years and has a crap readership. That isn't exactly helping matters.
I got to thinking, what if I stop blogging and I miss some great opportunity that's just around the corner. I'd kick myself. I see bloggers every day who, through their connections, get work as editors, or review work for paid publications. People who make more than $20 a month in Amazon referrals, enough to keep them in reading material even without ARCs. What if that's just around the bend?
And then I think, can it really be? Logically, no. I was recently granted the chance to interview Mercedes Lackey, my favourite author of all time, and though she hasn't had the time to reply to my questions yet (though her editor assures me she will), I can't help but thinking of that as my peak. How much higher can you go when you get to actually have a conversation with someone you've admired for over a decade? Unless the interview pushes my readership through the roof, or Mercedes Lackey says to me, "Wow, you've got a nice critical eye; how would you like to do some editing for me?" then I can't imagine anything getting better. I really will have peaked.
It's a little sad to think that, to think about stopping something that I've worked on for so long, but the truth is that it's no longer as enjoyable as it once was. And maybe that means it's time to let it go.
I'll see what happens after the interview goes live. If I still feel this way, if I still think it's time to move on (or at least take a very long break), then it may be the end of an active Bibliotropic. And while part of me is rebelling at that, desperately grasping for what I've worked so long and hard for and doesn't want to let it go, another part of me thinks it will be nice to get back to reading for reading's sake, to just enjoy books because I can and not because I have to determine why I enjoyed them, to pick up books that are gathering dust because they've been out for years and I've been neglecting them and to say, "Now, it's time to see what you're like."
But here's my contemplation: I'm thinking of dropping the book review blog.
This isn't a snap decision, and it's not something I haven't thought of before, either. But always the feeling passes, and this time, it isn't. It's been on my mind for a week and a bit now, and I wonder if maybe the time isn't right to let that project fall by the wayside.
The problem isn't that I'm burned out on reading. It's that I'm burned out on reviewing. I sill read as much as I ever did; more, even, than in years past, and it's thanks to starting that blog. I'm a more critical person now because of it, and my own skill with writing has improved thanks to exposure to more diverse writing styles and the experimentations of other authors. I actually have conversations on Facebook with some authors. I've discovered awesome novels that I might have passed over previously, because I got review copies and I felt obligated to at least try them.
So my desire to read hasn't dimmed. It's my desire to review. I finish a book now, and I don't think of writing up a review, even though I have opinions on it. I think of moving on to the next book. For a week and a half now I've had more than 2 books to write reviews for (now 3, and rapidly approaching a fourth), but I just can't be arsed to do it. I sit down at my computer, open Wordpress, and think, "Meh, there's plenty else that I'd rather be doing right now." And then I go do it.
At first I thought it was just because of NaNo, and that I should spend my writing time actually writing my NaNo project instead of book reviews. But it's been almost a week since NaNo ended, and I still don't feel any urge to review at all.
Not to mention, it's getting more than a little bit daunting, having so many books to review. Thanks to sites like NetGalley, I get books in advance of the release date, a very nice perk that allows reviewers to have a book read and a review ready for the release date so that the hype can peak at the right time. Lovely privilege, and I don't know where I'd be without it.
But right now I have over 250 unread review copies sitting on my Kindle, accumulated from nearly 3 years of reviewing. That's not including books I've bought and haven't even touched because review copies come first. At my current rate of reading, I've got another 3 years before I get through that backlog, and that's assuming I get nothing else new in the meantime. From any source.
I miss reading for fun. I miss just picking up a book and sitting down with it and reading it and enjoying it without paying so much attention to stylistic effect and word choice and tone and strength of character, and while I know I don't think I can get away from that now, I miss being able to just recognize those things and move on, not having to crystalize each thought into coherent sentences to be written online so that maybe 10 other people can read them.
My blog's been going for almost 3 years and has a crap readership. That isn't exactly helping matters.
I got to thinking, what if I stop blogging and I miss some great opportunity that's just around the corner. I'd kick myself. I see bloggers every day who, through their connections, get work as editors, or review work for paid publications. People who make more than $20 a month in Amazon referrals, enough to keep them in reading material even without ARCs. What if that's just around the bend?
And then I think, can it really be? Logically, no. I was recently granted the chance to interview Mercedes Lackey, my favourite author of all time, and though she hasn't had the time to reply to my questions yet (though her editor assures me she will), I can't help but thinking of that as my peak. How much higher can you go when you get to actually have a conversation with someone you've admired for over a decade? Unless the interview pushes my readership through the roof, or Mercedes Lackey says to me, "Wow, you've got a nice critical eye; how would you like to do some editing for me?" then I can't imagine anything getting better. I really will have peaked.
It's a little sad to think that, to think about stopping something that I've worked on for so long, but the truth is that it's no longer as enjoyable as it once was. And maybe that means it's time to let it go.
I'll see what happens after the interview goes live. If I still feel this way, if I still think it's time to move on (or at least take a very long break), then it may be the end of an active Bibliotropic. And while part of me is rebelling at that, desperately grasping for what I've worked so long and hard for and doesn't want to let it go, another part of me thinks it will be nice to get back to reading for reading's sake, to just enjoy books because I can and not because I have to determine why I enjoyed them, to pick up books that are gathering dust because they've been out for years and I've been neglecting them and to say, "Now, it's time to see what you're like."
