Lighter than Air

Wow, has it ever been a long time since I've updated this. I want to say it's because life hasn't given me anything worth talking about lately, but, well, that would be a big stinking lie.

The pain has been investigated. Still likely to be due to all the surgical scarring, but the fact that there's a 6 cm cyst on my left ovary probably isn't helping matters. That's almost as big as the tumour was when it was first diagnosed, and a full 1 cm above the minimum size requirement to consider surgery to remove it. I find it more than a littlr suspicious that this cyst showed up hot on the heels of the tumour and surgery. I don't know if they're related, exactly, since 1 was solid and 1 was liquid-filled and not in the same place, but really? 2 benign growths in 3 years, where previously there were none and no symptoms? And the cyst literally grew between the surgery and now, or it would have been spotted on previous scans and the surgery itself.

So I'm going back to Dr. S. I wouldn't, except Dr. K thinks it might do me some emotional good to tell her, "Look, you gave me substandard care before, you ignored the severity of my symptoms, and now I'm back and you'd better take this seriously before I end up hospitalized again." And if she still doesn't give me proper care, then Dr. K said he'll be more than happy to refer me to another specialist to get this dealt with.

That appointment is on February 5, so I don't have to wait too long to start getting this handled. Which is good, because the pain has just steadily gotten worse as time has gone on, and the other weekend had a day in which I was in too much pain to bend in the middle and get out of bed without help. I managed to get up, get some morphine, and once that kicked in I went back to sleep, and by the time I'd woken up again the pain had mostly gone away. Mostly. Not completely. I don't think there's been a single day in over a month where my pain level has been under 4 without painkillers. A few months ago, I would have said 3 instead of 4. So it's ramping up, I'm having more bad days, and I'm not happy about it.

Still reading books like a mad fiend, and enjoying every second of it. It's funny, whenever I look at the ARCs folder on my Kindle, I think, "I remember telling myself that I'd work harder to keep my number of review copies under 300. Crap, now it's over 300. Okay, I'll try to keep it on the lower end of the 300 scale. Hmm, I'll try to keep it under 350. Fuck, I'm now almost at 400 review copies!" Don't get me wrong; I love this gig and don't plan to stop reading and reviewing any time soon. I just wish sometimes that I could read faster than people I like to read keep writing books. Give me a month in which no books I want to read are released, and I'll at least be able to get 8 or so read with no new additions so that I can bring the teetering pile down a little bit more!

There's nothing better than curling up in bed with warm blankets and a hot mug of tea and a stack of good books within reach or on my Kindle. I could spend weeks like that. Hell, if I could afford it, I'd spend every winter doing that!

(Ignore the fact that this means that in Canada, I'd be doing that from December until late April, if I'm judging winter by when it gets too cold outside to be comfortable. But hey, approx 1/3 of a year devoted to reading? Now that's a dream job!)

I've been getting back into crafting more and more, deliberately making the time to do a little each day. I've made some embroidered bookmarks lately, and tonight I think I'll start working on some coasters. Woven paper strips with a felt backing? Sounds like a plan! It's relaxing, and doing stuff like that allows me to destress and get in a few episodes of Supernatural now and then. :p

As soon as I can afford a new camera (or can borrow someone else's), I'll start getting pictures and re-open my long-closed Etsy store, so that I can sell things again and make a little bit of extra money to cover me during lean or sick times. I've learned the hard way that I can't rely on any benefits I get through work, or anybody at work to actually help me get more details about those benefits, so that if I end up really sick again or end up needing another surgery to remove things that shouldn't be there, I'm on my own when it comes to money. So the more I have saved up, or the more things I do that can make me money when I can't work my dayjob, the better things will be for me during that time. And if it doesn't come to that, then I'll just have some spare money saved for anything else that I need or want to do down the road.

Speaking of making things, a friend was incredibly generous recently and paid for me to take an art course I had my eye on. It starts on the same day that I have my appointment with Dr. S, and the focus is on making small objects, repurposing, and ACEOs and ATCs, so it should give me plenty of inspiration for other things that I can make on my own once the class has ended. I can't wait for it to start, and as shy as I am, I also can't wait to meet other artists and crafters in the city. I think it'll be fun, and good for me. So many thanks going out to V for helping me with that when I couldn't afford to do it on my own.

And that's about it, at least for important lifey updates. Hopefully I can get the health hell sorted out soon (I haven't been healthy for about 2.5 years now...) so that my life can return to positive things all the time, like books and embroidery and walks in warm weather and all that wonderful stuff!

Laundry time! My second favourite household chore. My favourite is grocery shopping, even if I've had to do it in small batches lately because of my energy level. I did some today, too, because today's the last day of my monthly bus pass, and I can't afford another one right now because I haven't been at work for a while. So I went out and got some things while I could. And now I'm back home doing laundry, so that I can feel a little productive.

I'm getting a bit tired of my routine lately. I wake up, do a few things, and then by early afternoon I have to lie on the couch and take a nap because I'm so tired. I've been getting better, and each day it seems like I don't nap for as long, but I still don't have the energy that I think I should.

But I am getting better. I'm not as pale as I was a few weeks ago, and I do have more energy than before. The iron pills and the rest at home have been doing some good, and I'm going to keep at them. I go back to work at the end of next week, so I'm going to try to start going days without taking a nap at all, so that I get into that routine for when I have to work again.

My paid account here is expiring in a few days. I wish I had the money to extend it, but that will have to wait too. If I can't afford a bus pass, I definitely can't afford more frivolous things like paid account time here! But it's not that big a deal; I know I'll be able to afford it again eventually. I just have to be patient.

I finished reading Exile and started on Rachel Hartman's Seraphina. I haven't read much so far, but it seems like a really interesting world she's set up. It's not too common to see YA novels with a more traditional fantasy setting. Most of the time now they're urban fantasy or speculative/sci-fi. It's nice to see something that might get younger audiences into traditional fantasy.

So many books, so little time. But I've managed to read quite a bit this past month, with all the time that I've had to myself, so I'm happy that even if my health was poor, I can still say that something good came out of it. I finished 9 books this month alone. Some of them were short, yes, but that's still an accomplishment!

Shame I probably won't finish Seraphina by the end of today, to make that an even 10. Oh well.

Hopefully I'll have some time tonight to play Everquest 2 with friends before I get too tired. I haven't played in a few days, because we're all trying to play together and schedules haven't quite synched up, but I've got my fingers crossed about tonight. Got to make level 20 in under 14 days to finish a quest, after all!

I'm hoping to find a potholder loom for a decent price. I found a few on Etsy (my PayPal account has more money than my bank account at the moment, so I thought that would be the best option), but every one with a decent price didn't ship to Canada, and the ones with fair-but-still-higher prices charged more for the shipping than the object itself. I opted not to get one just yet. Shame, because I have so many plans for one. I have a lot of yarn that needs using up, and I thought weaving squares with such a loom would be a good way to use it, and then I can sew them together into a nice blanket. Possibly multiple nice blankets. But that will have to wait.

And now I think I'll depart the onling world and watch a few episodes of Numb3rs while trying to not fall asleep. :)

So I called my doctor's office today, to see if the results of the ultrasound were in. Apparently, they weren't. Sigh. I was hoping that they would be, so I can start fixing this stupid disruptive problem. No such luck. They ought to be there soon, though. It's supposed to take about 2 weeks to get result, and it'll be 2 weeks as of tomorrow since I had the ultrasound done. Fingers crossed.

The receptionist said she'd call me back if the result came in and there was anything on them, but to be honest, I don't trust that. This is the same woman who had blood test results of mine sitting on her desk for a whole month before I finally gave up and called her to see if they were back yet. Forms to allow me to return to work sat on her desk for a week before she got them filled out. I understand that doctors and their receptionists have a lot to do, but seriously, she's very lax when it comes to getting things done in a timely manner. She once scheduled me for an appointment so that my doctor could discuss a letter he'd received from my psychiatrist. A letter which I had already discussed with my doctor weeks prior to that. Even my doctor was embarassed there.

But for the moment, there's nothing I can do. If I haven't had a call back by next week, I'll call again. Even if nothing odd showed up on the ultrasound (and I doubt that, because even the technician said she saw odd things), then that still means other options need to be discussed so that I can fix this problem and stop bleeding so heavily and for so long and so irregularly.

On a lighter note, I went to see Hotel Transylvania with a friend yesterday. Great movie! The animation was nice and smooth, the humour was great, and with few exceptions, the characters were fun to watch.

Finished watching Community, too. Or rather, the 3 seasons that are on Netflix. I still have my problems with the show. Pierce's character rarely being given any consequences of his idiotic racism and sexism is the main problem I have, and I could write a huge diatribe about how this kind of character seems to be a disturbingly popular one in media now, but not right now. The third season's constant attempts to break up the friendship between Troy and Abed (seriously, I think more episodes were devoted to that than any other one theme). But for the most part, it's an enjoyable show, and I'd like to watch the 4th season when I can.

So now that Community is done, I started on Bones. I've got to say, I hope it picks up. Granted, I've only watched 2 episodes so far, but on their own, they don't really inspire me to keep watching. The show seems okay, but more like the kind of thing I'd put on in the background while crafting, watching it with only half an eye, rather than something I feel warrants my full attention. But I hear it's a good show, so I'll give it a season to get going and hope that it's just taking the production team and the actors a little time to settle into their roles. But really, when after 2 episodes you're already contemplating a drinking game for certain lines of dialogue that constantly keep popping up, you know it's a bit of an awkward show.

And go figure, it looks like Netflix also took off all the episodes they had of The Tudors. I was really looking forward to watching that. :/

Well, it's almost lunch time so I ought to go make myself something to eat and then maybe do some embroidery before I go to tonight's group therapy session. I've started on a new set of bookmarks using Belarusan wicker stitch (also called nizanka) on 28-count evenweave, and the stitches are so freaking tiny that it feels like I'm stitching forever before I actually make any real progress. But I'm getting the hang of it, and the pattern does look nice when it's finished. Plus it's been a while since I've actually worked on some embroidery, and I miss how soothing it can be.

Today was actually a pretty good day. Work was worth note in that it was both easy and beneficial. I did a small presentation in front of the class, and got praise for it, and more importantly, I didn't feel especially nervous about doing so. I consider that to be progress.

We also spent about 20 minutes outside, watching the Disney cruise ship leave port because the trainer wanted us to see how their horn plays the first few notes of "When You Wish Upon a Star." It was chilly, since we were so close to the ocean and fog was rolling in, but I didn't mind too much since it meant I could breathe fresh air and have a little bit of time away from the computer. As much as I like computers and use them a lot for personal things, it's nice to take a few minutes and get into natural light when you use them all day for work.

After work, I came home and had a delicious supper of teriyaki salmon and rice. Simple, relatively cheap (since I bought the salmon fillets when they were on sale), filling, and very tasty. Simple rice-and-meat dishes like that are common in this apartment, because they're so easy to make and yet can have so many variations and all be really delicious.

I spent most of the rest of the evening cutting up magazine pages into strips, in preparation for making another batch of paper beads this weekend. I figured that instead of cutting strips and rolling beads, cutting strips and rolling more beads, it would be easier to do each step in large batches. Marking and cutting the strips takes almost no time at all, and is easy to do it little bits on nights when I'm home from work. But rolling the beads and applying the sealant takes longer and can get a little fiddly, so that's best left for when I have a full day off work. And by that point, if I've cut up even one magazine page a day during the week, I'll be able to make lots of beads, and enough bracelets that it will definitely be worth making a large update to the Riality Studios Etsy store.

Paper crafts seem to be my big obsession at the moment. I'm still sewing, but in between cutting strips. I have to get back to sewing all the 2 inch squares together for my postage stamp quilt. I've been neglecting that.

I also have to stop forgetting to work on the two pillows for my father and his wife. He'll be back in town in about a month, and while it shouldn't take too long to finish the pillows, if I keep putting it off and ignoring the project, I'll find myself with only a day to spare and too little done to be able to finish on time. I'll try to remember to sew some more of it tomorrow evening after work.

I started reading Jo Anderton's Suited today. It's the sequel to Debris, which I read last year and rather enjoyed. It's an uncorrected e-ARC, which normally doesn't bother me (I can overlook the occasional typo), but there are a lot of formatting errors. Any instance of "ti" gets turned into a capital H. A combination of "ft" gets turned into "_" for some reason. And "tt" becomes [. Once you figure that out, it gets more readable, but it's still a pain to have to adjust the way I read in order to accommodate for errors that could have been really easily caught before giving reviewers access to the book.

Still, I can't complain too loudly. I did get the review copy for free, after all, and I'm still enjoying the story. I try my best not to hold formatting errors against the final review, unless it's a finished and published copy of the book that I'm reading. Then errors are fair game, because they had plenty of chances to be caught and corrected before final publication.

I suppose I should get offline now and go feed my cats before they start getting bothersome about it. Then it's off to bed. Only two more days of work before the weekend!