Okay, suddenly having strong and inexplicable panic attacks isn't good. I was doing so well this morning. And then wham, this hit about half an hour ago, and now I'm shaking so hard that it's hard to type, and now I feel doubly useless because I had to call in to work because I know when I'm like this I have a hard time moving from room to room, let alone going outside my apartment door.

Fuck, I hate this. I haven't had panic like this in a long time, and I haven't missed it.

I'm going to go do something calming and repetitive and distracting until the bad feelings go away. If I can.

Fuck, this blows.

What I wouldn't give for a Persona-phone right about now. Call up an alernate facet of my personality that can just take the lead and go in to work and not worry about problems like this. Where's my evoker, huh? They could deal with the headache, too.

Hope I can manage to do something useful today. Maybe if the calming repetitive thing I do is something I can sell later?

Or maybe I should just glug NyQuil and go back to sleep until it's passed.

I don't know. Babbling isn't helping. And I hate that I'm going to be sullying this journal with a stupid babbling entry made during a panic attack, but sometimes writing helps, and I couldn't think of anything else to write but stream-of-consciousness stuff about what I'm going through.

Going offline. If anyone needs me, call my Persona-phone.